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Mother is not a flowerSomeone once said, "A woman who chooses a life of motherhood is like a flower that dies to bare fruit. You may produce a delicious sweet juicy fruit. But than again it could turn sour. Or be eat away by bugs and animals. And possible picked too soon or too late. The future for the fruit will never be predicted by the flower. Is it worth wasting such fragile beauty?" I have my own hang ups on motherhood but I find this statement ( as enchantingly put as it is) ignorant. A flower is fragile yes. But we don't see it's strength, as it fights off wind, as it stands tall in harsh rain and heat. It goes all through this to bare a fruit. The fruits future is as it will be. Undecided until born. Like a child. In case you don't know where I'm going with this, women who choose to be a mother are not weaker for it. Most are stronger than any working woman or man. I doubt most people could handle a moms job. Dealing with a child 24/7 every day of the year. Some more than One kid. And how they came
The FeelingThe feeling.
Of goodness and sparks.
For me it's anticipation.
Like stepping out at a cliff and peering down.
Or up into the blue Sky after a rainy day.
I feel it in the back of my neck warm and tingly.
I want to clutch something tight in my hands.
Until they hurt.
My hands, I want them to hurt.
I want the pain to validate my feeling.
That it's not a dream.
This feeling is really happening.
It comes in waves for me.
Than I ease in to it.
It always feel good and bad.
It's rare so I treasure it.
Locking every little moment away in my memory.
It's my treasure.
Here is a story.Here is a story. There was once a girl. She was very innocent and believed that if she were to be good and obeyed what every one told her she would be happy. And intern they would be happy as well. But one day she was told not to do something, and as always she agreed and did not do that thing. But another adult came to her not a minute after the first and said to do that thing she was just told not to do. "But..." She cried out in confusion. The adult looked at her...He looked at her with mean angry eyes. For she had never disagreed with anyone. Why him? 'No'...he thought. And she went silent at his stare. There she sat, contemplating what to do. She had never gone against what she was told. So she knew not of punishment. Yet she felt pain in her chest. Soon she would have to do or not do what she was told. Standing where exactly she was told not to and too. She looked up at the sky, for maybe God had the answer. She was told God had all the answers, so he must have the answer to this
Well That SucksThis road I walk has no end.
I can longer turn back.
The path is lost in darkness.
I have forgotten my purpose,
But continue on blindly.
I follow no light.
Only darkness exist here.
There are many who walk a similar path.
But this one is mine.
No words are needed here.
Only thoughts are constant questions.
Can I ever escape my path?
Will I ever be freed of my choices?
Was I always alone?
Did I do this to myself,
Or was there someone who brought me?
Fear, saddness, love, happiness...
I felt these emotions once, right?
But all that is left is...nothing.
Have I found my roads end?
Can it really be all over?
Did I live good...
Was it worth it?
Will I ever truly know...
Let me sleep.
I wish to sleep.
Go into slumber
Never to awake,
And return to the World.
Laughter and smiles in my world.
Restless and tired I awake
Not wanting to see the alarm clock
Next to me.
Let me sleep.
I wish to sleep.
I don't want to see
The broken world outside my window.
Is She Lost ForeverChapter 15
"June." Someone is saying my name ahh my head huts it's like an echo? God everywhere hurts. "June are you ok?" Damn what happened why can't I remember anything? Wait no, I was walking home, then I was I was. "AHHHHH!!!" I sat up screaming flying my arms in front of me, hitting someone, tears running down my eyes. "JUNE! JUNE IT'S OK! YOU'RE SAFE!" I stopped; it's its Kevin. I open my eyes, yes its Kevin. I clung to his shirt and cried into his chest. " Oh god June, its ok I'm here now. You're safe now." He let me cry for hours, I ruined his shirt but he didn't care not at all. "Are you ok?" He said as I leaned on his chest, I hadn't said one word since I realized it was him I nodded. My throat hurt from crying and screaming. He rubbed my back and kissed my head, for I don't know how long. I needed to ask him something but how do I ask him that. "June, umm they didn't touch you. In that way. I got there just as you passed out, I did
It's Okay to be ImperfectThe moon
Stand Against SuicideI know the pain is perhaps unbearable,
But darling, please put down the blade.
Release your emotions through tears and smiles,
Rather than dreading these days.
Do it for the little girl, whose mother can’t be there,
Or for the boy whose father drank too much.
For the boy who can’t sit in elementary school,
Because the bruises from Daddy hurt to touch.
For the teenage girl lying face down in her bed,
Thinking, why can’t it all be done?
For the elderly man looking up at the stars,
Counting the days one by one.
Do it for the children who wonder, does it end?
For the ones who feel left on their own.
For the ones who think, maybe it wouldn’t be so hard
If I didn’t feel so left alone.
And finally, do it for one other person,
The person in front of these words.
Because you’ll never know how it gets better
When focusing on pain and hurt.
Live one more day, dear, for them and for you,
And I swear to you, problems will fade.
I know, for right now, it’s p
Unable to loveMy love was pure
I only wanted
But my heart
Because my love
Like a piece of garbage
And now I'm unable
Because the shreds
Of my shattered soul
I Thought I Needed FeminismI thought I needed feminism, when I was a little girl.
And I am very sad to admit, that this wasn't very long ago.
I thought when he held the door open for me, that he was making a big mistake.
That he was being a pompous ass, and he took my strength for a fake.
And when he offered to pay my tab, I still called him an ass.
Because I thought he assumed I was poor, and below middle class.
Or when his hard work earned him a promotion,
yet I did nothing, and the boss' ignorance to promote me, I believed was a sexist notion.
My friend really wanted feminism when she found her ex-dead drunk,
removed his clothes, and without his consent, had a pleasurable fuck.
When her parents bust into the room unexpected that night,
she said he raped her, and he was arrested without so much as a fight.
Perhaps feminism was there when I walked out into the street in pure nudity,
and shouted the my neighbors “You have no right to judge me!”
I didn't care about the children who were standing in th
MathematicsI am but the sum of my
F L A W S;
a network of
S C A R S
a disaster of
D R E A M S
a shield of
B O N E S
C A L C U L A T I O N
a void of
DifferentDifferent on the outside,
Different mask you see daily,
Different girl you call ‘Hailey’
To my surprise
Your ears are distracted,
So I tell lies, looking into your eyes,
“Yea I’m fine. Simply tired”
For that response my brain is wired.
Different mouth you hear speaking,
Different voice you hear screaming
Different eyes you see pleading,
Different person you’d befriended
I’m sorry this is how it’s ended.
DethronedI have created Eden, through the strokes of my pen,
But it was made of promises, and angels
That were too fragile to hold the weight of our sins.
You were my goddess, on a throne made of dreams.
Which you were probably
They didn't glimmer and shine
like the diamonds decorating your rings.
They were the hopes of a man
So madly in love, but you poured poison into his heart
And so he rotted, each time you gifted him with a kiss.
Take a step back, look past the details.
Stop focusing on all the necessary stuff.
Feel the world moving around you.
Keep an open mind to all the strange things.
Happy is easier than you think.
Sadness though, sadness is hard.
If you don't recognized it...
It will devour you.
Taking all your freedom.
Making you doubt yourself.
Forcing you to say,
"There is no way out."
But if you take a breath...
And one big step back.
You may see it all clearly.
Past all the lies.
Lies in the details you once accepted as fact.
Take a step back, than I suggest running.
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